Apostate: The Story Behind the Story

The night Bill Clinton was elected president, I found myself in a prayer room with a dozen other young men, shouting rebukes at demons we believed had stolen the election. I was a student at an evangelical Bible college, training to become a minister, and I joined them, just as fervent as they were. But even then, in the quiet moments after the shouting stopped, I had to admit something felt deeply wrong.

That feeling grew. I remember the hushed, scandalized rumors that a beloved, long-serving professor was secretly a Democrat. I saw fellow students question that professor’s faith, not because of character or heretical teachings, but purely because of politics.

After graduating and serving briefly in ministry, my own path led me away from the pulpit and into a long period of self-reflection and observation. Over the years, I watched with growing horror as the politicization I’d first witnessed in college consumed the faith I held dear. It was then that the seed for Apostate: The First Heresy took root in my mind. The questions became insistent: Has this faith been overtaken by a quest for political power? At what cost? Do they want total control, even if it means creating a theocracy?

With those questions, the foundation for the story was born.

I wrote the first version of Apostate during the pandemic, and the real-world events since have only made its themes more urgent. My sincere hope is that this story serves as both a wake-up call and a call to action. It is not an attack on faith, but an attempt to free it from the bonds of raw political power, and a search for the light that can still shine through even the deepest cracks.

C.J. Loveman